well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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