Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
