So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize