Porn is love you can see.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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