I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
