So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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