shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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