I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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