I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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