Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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