If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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