So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize