JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
