can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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