I just threw up on my dentist
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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