I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
