I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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