I cannot find my penis.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
