Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
