we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
