I need help removing her.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
