well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
