i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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