I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
