yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize