I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
