he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
