the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
