My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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