Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I think I sprained my soul last night
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
