never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
