Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
