Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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