I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
