Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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