I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
soo... how was my night?
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