ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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