Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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