Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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