lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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