he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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