winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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