Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
