First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
