why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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