He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
