i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
