I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you traded sex for a burrito?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
