If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize