How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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