it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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