Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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