just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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