It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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