BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
