If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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