you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
