Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
