so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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