one two three fourrrrnication!
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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