i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
