A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
