I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
