i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
