ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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