So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
