it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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