if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just googled if crying burns calories
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
