are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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